


bitter tongues ( you can bask in the light now)

by WitchyTwitchy



Category: Escape the Night (Web Series)
Genre: Emotionally or physically, He loves his friends but we all know that gets tested, Matthew won't ever be the same, Matthew's revival is fucked here, Might have some anger issues, Other, and he might need to cry a lot later, descriptions of a violent aftermath, issues with death, resurrection complications
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:06:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22898473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitchyTwitchy/pseuds/WitchyTwitchy
Summary: death isn't something you come back from, because what is dead is gone forever.but nothing in Everlock can stay buried, it seems.( matthew's revival isn't all it was cracked up to be )
Relationships: The Detective | Matthew Patrick & Everyone
Comments: 6
Kudos: 55





	bitter tongues ( you can bask in the light now)

There's something wrong with him.

It's the only thought that flies through his otherwise vacant mind. He can't think of anything else besides the fact this feels uncomfortable. That there's something wrong with him, something wrong _about_ him. And he struggles to do anything else except lay there. Wherever there is.

After what seems like the longest twenty minutes of his life ( why does _that_ word sound wrong? ) he finally gains feeling in his body again. Pain flares across his limp form, and Matthew tries to gasp but can't quite get it out of his burning throat. And suddenly he realizes he hasn't been breathing for twenty minutes, and panic seizes him as he tries to swallow any air he can - but he can barely open his mouth.  
There's something wrong! So terribly wrong and he can't even see because his eyes feel swollen shut. Some part of him is scared to open them, to look around and see nothingness. He isn't breathing. He's aching everywhere. His mind is blank and the only thought that he can manage sends his head into an intense headache.

Mindlessly, his bruised lips move. Mouthing names but not actually saying them - because his voice is gone. And he's alone, he knows that for sure, but he still tries to silently call out for the others. His hands move without obeying him; sprawling against cold ground and digging into it.  
At first, he thinks of Ro, remembering her kind smile and the way she comforted him after..something traumatic. Her hand rubbing his back, whispering that they would make it- that nobody else would have to...have to...  
He mouths her name into the void. Memories are too blurry to remember much of, and yet he can remember her screaming about something. He hears it, the cries, but if she had been near him before - she's long gone now. Helplessly, he starts to mouth Manny's name with his cheek pressed against cool, but sticky, dirt.  
And then something clicks, something he doesn't understand, when he starts to call for Roi and Teala instead.

( Why would they answer? Aren't they _dead-)_

When the realization hits him, Matthew gasps. Without any control his body starts to shake, making the pain even more unbearable. There's fire around the skin of his throat that runs up to his head, and at the revelation that he's actually _dead_ \- he starts to cry. His body shivers and his temple rests against the ground as pathetic wheezes leave his lips. Hands desperately clawing at dirt.  
What comes after death wasn't something he wanted to explore so soon. Yet here he is, alone and feeling the pain of death linger on his body. Clinging to it like the green mist that's fallen over Everlock.

There isn't much he can recall of his death and it's unfair. He can only remember feet in the air, kicking wildly as instinct took over; and then pain hitting his spine. Something firm around his throat and squeezing, and then his body was being pressed from everywhere.  
Blows to the head. From a weapon? From a fist? Yes, _yes_ he remembers. A fist, too large to be human, ramming down upon his head with the hatred of an enemy. His friends' voices ringing in his damaged ears. Doors slamming shut. Something about a coin.  
Weak was an important topic too. He doesn't remember why.

Frankly, he's dead and he's so scared and miserable. Matthew wants something better than this. Something tells him that he's had worse, and that this will get better - but he can't understand what that means. First, it's sinking stomachs and crying, then it's screaming ( _silent of course_ ) and the urge to hurt something that isn't himself. Was anger normal for dead men? He isn't sure. But he's angry, pissed even, and he wants to hurt someone because he can't do this alone forever. If he had to be beaten to death, someone else should at least bear pain too. And since he was a victim of a brutal beating - it only makes sense that he wants to inflict the same crime upon someone else.  
Almost mindlessly, he thinks of whoever Joey is. At first, it's just a name that rings in his head. Then it starts to bring him something that's downright suffocating. A feeling hard to control.

Against the ground he lashes out. Swinging an arm into the air with a cry that actually makes it from his throat. If Joey were here, which he _should be_ instead of Matthew, he imagines catching his ankle and dragging him to the ground. Crawling on him and hitting and tearing until nothing remains. Matthew isn't violent - it isn't him - but he feels it and it's almost like second nature. Hurting Joey ( _or Nikita or Manny or Ro or Safiya or Colleen-_ ) makes him feel stronger in his mind. The thought of being stronger is better than the idea of weakness of any kind. Just the word _'weak'_ makes his stomach flip.

Joey brings him an even deeper pit in his stomach. And anger is ugly no matter how well he might wear it, so he focuses on names. Memories. Colleen, Safiya, Ro, Manny, and Nikita.

Colleen, Safiya, Ro, Manny, and Nikita. Five names. Five very interesting and familiar names. And repeating them, mouthing them into his hands that now cover his mouth, is calming. So he does it. Clearing his mind and just focusing on the pronunciation to forget the pain of his body and the fear of death. Despite the fact that's all he is, dead.

A shiny badge flashing on a table. Cards with faces that stare into your soul.

_Colleen, Safiya-_

Some sort of stab wound and failure? Laughter in a tent on a grim night?

_Ro, Manny-_

Golden light. Radiating off his skin. Lazarus; a man resurrected.

And _Nikita_.

Collen. Safiya. Ro. Manny. Nikita. _Matthew._

There's an idea in his mind that forms. Being dead wouldn't mean there's something wrong with him, because death is normal - and yet he still feels wrong. And he slowly recalls coins and a long forgotten theory, and there's hope brewing dimly in his chest. Lazarus. Coins to open a box that could benefit the team.  
Adding his name back into the equation helps calm him even more as he repeats it in his mind. Always putting his name right at the end after listing the others.

Whenever he gets the urge to contort and twist, Matthew withstands the need to move his body. His bones ache, his skin is definitely not a normal color at all, but Matthew waits. Against the ground that he suddenly remembers, and against the dried up pool of his own bloodbath. If his theory is right, then something is very wrong about him, and he can't risk draining any spare energy. He knows if he's right that nothing will be the same again. He'll be tired all the time, his body will forever ache, and the dirt will feel better than a bed ever will..but he'll be..he'll be..

Alive. Maybe. God, this shouldn't be possible. His theory shouldn't be right by any means - and even if it is, he'll never be worthy of this gift. Be it if the harp chose him or the team did, he'll never be enough to deserve this. Definitely wasn't enough before. But he'll try so hard if it's true. To be worth this.

Matthew lays for what feels like an hour, wasting away. Waiting for something to prove him right as he recalls the names in his mind. Calling himself Matthew as many times as he can because he doesn't want to be anyone else. Resurrection is probably nasty business, and he wants to ensure that he's still Matthew. A detective. Orange and green colors for his outfit. Glasses. Brown hair. That's Matthew and he _is_ Matthew. He looks just like that description.

Slowly, he feels something weird begin to happen. His skin starts to feel lighter instead of so heavy. Pain starts to fade into a dull ache. Something soothing hits his body, like a light. And he feels as if any bruise left on his corpse is slowly healing itself. Black, purple, and ugly blue colors turning back into regular skin. Covering up the trauma as if he's never been close to death at all. Matthew takes a deep breath, gagging on it with how greedily he just inhales, but he breathes. He breathes in and sighs.

Oxygen hits his once collapsed lungs and he's really _living_. Regaining life into his body. Memories hit him a little sharper, and his head definitely still feels the worst throb of pain still, but he's living suddenly. He was dead before. Definitely dead. Now he isn't. Shouldn't be possible, it goes against everything he believes in, and yet here he is. Existing, like an anomaly.  
His clothes are the ones he died in, stained in his dried blood, but Matthew ignores this to test a delusional laugh. Feeling a flood of emotions that floor him when he hears his laughter hang in the air.

Collen, Safiya, Ro, Manny, Nikita, and Matthew. They're alive. Surely, they all were alive, right? He hasn't been dead for long- surely? At the thought of living, guilt eats at his empty stomach, because other names would've fit his favorite puzzle piece more smoothly ( _Jc, Roi, Teala_ \- ) but he's greedy and selfish and lets himself have this moment. He's done the impossible and is alive despite all odds. He belongs with the team just like they belong with him. And the detective feels more connected to those five then he ever will with anything else again.

There's still something so obviously wrong with him. Matthew can't smell anything at all, and his strength will definitely never rival what it used to be. He presses his palms to the dirt and pushes up on his arms, but falls and has to repeat it until it works. Another thing wrong with him is the fact he feels so terribly cold. Warmth never rushed to his cheeks or anywhere else in his body. Almost as if his blood isn't close to the capacity it should be...and yet he stands and lives because of some harp. There's so many things wrong with him now, but he's still Matthew ( _right?_ ) and his friends will still be his friends.  
A few physical changes will never get in the way of that. And he'll never not see this as a blessing.

"Thank you- I- thanks-" Finally his eyes snap open, and somehow he's wobbling on two sore feet in front of the building his friends are hiding in. His words die off, but he practices them as he slowly limps towards the door. "You guys didn't have to-" because the least they all deserve is a great thank you speech.

When he feels the crushing hugs from Ro and Manny, he pulls away to check at his aching skin ; and spots colorful bruises on his arms and chest.

After it's all said and done, and everyone else is in the ground, rotting like he had been - Matthew begs for the bruises to never fade , because it's all he'll have left of them.

( _the moment he steps out of Everlock, the bruises fade instantly, and it's hard to remember that his friends had ever been alive at all -_ )


End file.
